Destination Discipline

“I’m takin’ what they’re givin’ ’cause I’m workin’ for livin'” – Huey Lewis & The News

Have you ever looked up from your day job and thought, “What the heck am I doing here?” Maybe your boss claimed your work as your own or your co-worker called in sick (again!) and you’re stuck covering his shift. Or maybe you work with someone who takes themselves way too seriously and has a nasty habit of tattling all your foibles to your boss for no other reason than to make them look better. I’ve been there (and I have the t-shirt!).

I remember the good old days – when I was a teenager – when I enjoyed going to work. I had fun running the salad bar at Rax Restaurant. I steamed the broccoli and added hot water to the cheese powder to make melted cheese. In between tasks I cracked jokes with my co-workers, and after we closed at night, we turned on the big boom box and jammed while we cleaned. I remember being tired, and smelling bad, but feeling really great about “working for a living.”

Then, I had to get a real job so I could provide for myself and I ended up working for trolls. These nasty fellows refused to stay under their drawbridge and carried a big stick–with which they would thump me over the head when the mood suited them. And since I was dependent on the paycheck I learned how to “take what they were giving.”

A means to an end

I remember when I had hope in the business world. I went to work with a dream of being promoted and believed what my superiors told me; namely, that if I worked hard and did a good job, I would earn respect and get promoted. But after years of disappointment, I kind of gave up. No offense, but some people just never “make it”. They get stuck in a position – kind of like an actor who’s been type-cast – and are perpetually shoehorned until they retire. This is especially true for administrative professionals (secretaries) like me. I learned to accept my lot in life by practicing gratitude for what I have, but it doesn’t erase the sense of injustice I feel at being passed over for positions for which I was more than capable of performing.

Over the years I have come to know others who face injustice in the workplace. They have bosses who discriminate or co-workers who harass. They tolerate the workplace because they have to – or they quit and find a new position elsewhere. Everyone has a means of coping with having to work for a living.

Living the dream

I recently watched an MTV Behind the Music biography of Huey Lewis from the band of the same name. If you don’t know his story, it’s worth watching. He was going to college to be an engineer and discovered a love of music. He started a band and struggled to get signed for 10 years. The band (one you’ve never heard of) made a record that flopped and they broke up. So he started his own band and found wild success very quickly. His whole life was making music.  He loved it! He was good at it! And then one day he woke up and found he had lost hearing in one ear. Then, in 2018 he lost hearing in the other. His life, as he knew it, was over. He would never write music or perform again.

Huey Lewis

It’s hard to describe his countenance as he discussed not being able to sing or perform any longer. He looked…lost. Sure, he mentioned that he felt bad for putting the people who depended on him out of work (he mentioned they all had pension plans so they weren’t destitute). But what struck me most of all is that he loved what he did and was genuinely lost without his preferred profession. He missed touring with “his buddies” and the general comradery of pal-ing around with fans after concerts. How different his job experience was from mine.

“Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind. Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.” – Ecclesiastes 4:4,6

I work for a wealth management company and many of my co-workers really do enjoy their work. They love “building wealth” and “serving clients”. But many others work because they have to. Of course, I see the subtle envies all around me and shudder. People really are trying to “keep up with the Joneses”. In small ways, I see the fashion trends of women who want to be “in style” though this is not limited to women–the men do it too. I see the leaders purchasing home in specific localities because those are the “hip places to live” and buying vehicles because So-and-So has one. Meanwhile, I’m trying to navigate a landscape where I want to avoid being fired because I’ll be destitute without my job. It’s all so…wearisome. Which is why I love the book of Ecclesiastes. The writer makes clear that so much of life is vanity, a chasing after the wind.

Inevitabilities

It’s easy to look at rock stars, celebrities and white collar workers with envy because they seem to have what we want. We assume if we had what they have, we would be happier than what we now are. To illustrate this to each other we say (or sing) things like, “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy me a boat.”

But I see plenty of people who have nice boats who aren’t happy. So that idiom is blatantly false.

“What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil–this is God’s gift to man.” – Ecclesiastes 3:9-13

A good friend of mine takes this proverb very seriously. I met her at work years ago and we became fast friends. She had a good-paying job but she did not find pleasure in it. So she quit. She spent a year studying and training to do the work she truly wanted to do and then found a job doing it. She has had several jobs since then. Because she knows life is short–and she has to work for a living–she wants to enjoy what she does. If she doesn’t, she moves on. She is very brave (and beautiful to boot!).

Like the “preacher” of Ecclesiastes, she knows we all grow old and die. All of our work and toil will pass away with us, but what will we have to show for it? Some of us may get a plaque or a really nice obituary in the Wall Street Journal. Some of us may even make enough money to fund a college scholarship or, like John Bon Jovi, start a free restaurant for people who can’t afford food. That’s all very good, but we’ll still be dead. And the dead don’t enjoy the fruits of their labor.

“As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.” – Ecclesiastes 11:5

We have one life to live and it is best lived one day at a time. We should enjoy it to the best of our ability for we know there will be dark and dreary days too. Also, we never know which day will be our last so we should number our days and make them count for something.

The power of love!

Today, a co-worker reached out to me because we are working on a project together. She was worried that I am being taken advantage of. What she didn’t know was that I volunteered to work on the project and am really excited for the opportunity. But I’ve been thinking ever since about what it means to “work for a living” but still make a difference in the workplace. My friend wanted to protect me from harm and was willing to speak up to those in leadership on my behalf. It made me wonder if everyone would hate work as much as they do if all of their co-workers did the same.

Today, if you are “working for a living” and hating every minute of it, maybe you could be like her. Start a chain reaction. Take care of someone else and tell them to do the same. I believe we really can make the world a better place by loving our neighbor as ourselves. Jesus started a pretty cool trend.

“For what will it profit a man if he gain the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” – Jesus

There is nothing that will make one feel more out of control than to have a child who is in danger. When we received notification that a threat had been made to a teacher at school that involved bombs and firearms, I was naturally nervous. The administration assured us they were taking every precaution. The next day they cancelled school. I wondered what was happening so I called another parent whose child was more directly impacted. Details were vague. Someone in the community sent an email to someone at school making serious threats. So the principal sent an email that included the following…

This message caused more questions in my mind. What were the specific “acts of hate”? Why are they blaming religious bigotry? It’s all so…unclear.

My son told me that there are some children in the school who are “furries”. They wear ears and tails and like to walk on all fours around the school. He said they are antagonistic and aggressive. They bark at the other students. Some of these children participated in the St. Charles Parks Department summer camp program. They were kicked out after they started biting other children. (I’m not kidding). They have also been demonstrating with signs saying they are oppressed. He said it’s “really annoying.” It is also disruptive. The other children respond by barking back at them. I wonder why the administration was allowing this behavior.

My son is not allowed to talk about God in school. One of the teachers told him religion doesn’t belong in school. I wonder what would happen if my son decided to demonstrate that we need God in school and wanted to hold a prayer meeting on campus. Would he feel “supported and cared for” or would he simply be asked to leave?

My child faces these dangers every day. His young mind is inundated with a culture that celebrates sexual liberation rather than chastity. He is 13 years old and the predominating narrative is “do what feels right to you.” Therefore, children are being emboldened to embrace nonsense ideas – like they can be a furry animal, or that they can be a different sex than they were born with, or that they can be “non-binary”. The adults in their lives who know better lack courage to speak truth to these people with immature brains and so they swirl in confusion. The law isn’t much help in this regard either.

All of this begs the question: which danger is most pressing for my child? Is it a bomb blowing up his classroom or is it that these ideas have tangible consequences? (Because how do you explain puberty to a girl who thinks she’s a dog? Not to mention the question of why we are hypersexualizing children?) On a recent visit to the pediatrician my son saw this picture of Minnie Mouse on the wall and said, “Why is her skirt flipped up and her underwear showing?” Good question.

Why is Minnie Mouse so immodest?

These questions create within me a sense of powerlessness because the truth is, I do not have ultimate control over my child. Evil people are going to threaten and possibly harm him. He is going to make decisions that have permanent consequences. And since our educational system has, for the most part, removed God (and moral authority) from our classrooms, unless I teach him at home, he will never know the satisfaction and joy of relationship with the creator of the universe.

There will be people who read this and feel the need to attack me for my belief system. They might say that I am hateful and a religious bigot. This makes me sad. Am I intolerant? Am I exclusive?

I think our culture is confused about what peace, joy and satisfaction actually look like. True meaning and purpose cannot be found in sexual ethics. The only way to true and lasting peace is through Jesus Christ via a relationship with God the Father. It cannot be found in the arms of another human being – no matter how well-intentioned each party is, just as it cannot be found in food, shopping or wild African safaris. I welcome the dear reader to try. But why does this make me a religious bigot?

We disenfranchise our youth when we withhold truth from them just because we don’t like it. There is a God and He created the universe. He created men and women with a perfect plan to populate the world–but more importantly to love and be loved by Him.

Jesus said we must “deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow him.” He said whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 16:24-25) This would be a good place to begin with our children… “The creator of the world loves you. He knows you are a sinner and made a way to heal you of that sin and bring you into relationship with the Father. Believe in Him and you will be saved. Also, you will be supremely satisfied in Him forever.”

The only real security we have in this life is through God. Tornadoes will suck up our houses. Fires will ravage our businesses. Illness will rob our vitality. Death is the eventuality for every human who lives. So I ask you again, “what will it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?”

No matter how many bombs go off or how many lies the world tries to peddle about human sexuality – our souls are secure in Christ. No one can snatch us out of his hands.

Today, if any of this resonates with you, I hope you will seek Him out and discover who he really is and what he did for you. He loves you. He is standing at the door waiting for you to open it.

“The bee did buzz, did land, did taste. She swatted at the beast. And so the hairy demon stung and poison was released.

The bee did die but left behind a welt of fiery pain. The lass did cry but stomping on the bee was all in vain.”

Sometimes stomping feels good. Especially if we have been hurt in some way. It feels productive in the moment. Nobody wants to be a blathering victim crying in their pudding. We want to hit back. We want to take out the bully, the robber, or the boss.

But how do we respond when there is no anesthetic for the pain? What happens when the body of our friend lies cold? When sickness clings and does not abate? When the friend does not relent of their betrayal?

Lashing out is extremely gratifying in the heat of the moment, but does nothing to heal our wound. The bee sting still throbs–or worse–sends us running for a shot to stop anaphylactic shock!

I have been “hot under the collar” for some time now and working hard to manage my rage. I’m sure I don’t seem like a particularly angry person, but I am. There is no shortage of things to be angry at. Be it the evening news, politics, the pandemic, or that pesky driver who wasn’t paying attention and hit me hard enough to shove me into another car; yeah, I’ve been pretty “steamed”. I have friends who disagree with me on vaccines and masks and some who have even cut me out of their lives. And the cutting goes both ways. My social media feed shrinks every day.

It’s not a sin to be angry. Anger is an emotion God gave us. Jesus got angry. God certainly gets angry. I’ve been reading in Ezekiel and am quite disturbed by the first few chapters. For all those people (charlatans?) who claim to be prophets, who of them ever got a vision from God telling them to pronounce judgement on a nation by cooking all their meals over human dung? God hates sin. And “hate” is a very strong word.

But my question to me is, “What am I supposed to do with all this anger?” So many of the things I’m angry about are out of my control. Dead Marines? Check. Dead Christians? Check. Incompetent leadership? Check. And those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. I could list another 20 or 30, but that would be boring.

Tick

Most recently I’m really angry about ticks. Ticks bite. Literally. My whole life I’ve been getting ticks on my body and never had a problem other than an itchy spot for a few weeks. But in early July I picked up a tick carrying a bacteria called “Ehrlichia chaffeensis“. Both humans and dogs can get this bacteria and it causes a nasty infection that kills white blood cells. Therefore, when I went to the hospital with a 103.5 fever and discovered my white blood cells were low (81) and my liver enzymes were over 500, the doctors were a little concerned. The good news, they said, was that a little antibiotic (doxycycline) would fix me right up. If I would “give it a day or two”, I would be just fine. But, a week later, when I was still running a fever, I went back to hospital and got another “all expense paid by me” trip through the ER and another painful IV to boot. I was told I had a secondary infection, needed more antibiotics, and was told to “go home and rest”.

I suppose at the time I was too tired to be full-on angry, but my pot was simmering nonetheless. I have worked very hard to get healthy and stay healthy but this was beyond my control. Still, I have to admit I was “hot under the collar” at God. I blamed him. He allowed me to get the “tick-ness”. And it just didn’t feel fair or right.

Maybe I shouldn’t admit that; but it’s true. And here I am at the end of August, still tired, still queasy in my guts, and still weak. If you want to know the truth, I’m aggravated.

So I’ve had my little “stomp”. I’ve also done my fair share of crying and pity-partying. I also realize that in the grand scheme of life, Ehrlichia is not the worst thing that could happen to me or anybody else. It’s treatable. Curable, even. Even if it’s taking longer than I want it to. Things could be worse. I could have a tumor that turned out to be my mostly absorbed twin from birth and all that’s left is some teeth and a grotesque looking eyeball. That would really be disturbing.

There are plenty of verses in the bible about anger, but I’ll spare the dear reader. Sometimes when the kettle begins to boil, the steam must come out. I am human, not a robot. There are a few activities that are helpful (like burning a bonfire in my backyard). I can also go the river and throw rocks in the water. The fish might be annoyed, but they can suck it. And when the anger cools and the pain takes hold, I cling to the promises Jesus made to his followers…

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27

Today, if you are angry, stomp! But then remember you are loved. And when the smoke clears, remember the One who bore the brunt of the Father’s wrath on the cross so that you might have eternal salvation.