She woke up this morning and her heart hurt. The dream was painful, but even more so the reality. She considered the day and squeezed her eyes tight. She pulled the covers up over her nose and whimpered.
“Too much.” She whispered.
But after a few minutes the children called and she had to get up. Had to get ready. Had to choke back the tears so they wouldn’t make the pancakes too salty.
She knew nobody noticed. Or cared. No one said, “Thank you, Mom” or “You are beautiful.” Instead they scarfed the food down and ran away as quickly as possible.
Her voice on the phone was ragged. “I don’t know how much longer I can carry on. The weight of life is just, well, heavy.” And I listened for as long as she was willing to talk. And I cried with her because that’s what friends do.
She talked about the New Year and said, “It’s more of the same. What’s to celebrate?” The tremble in her voice reminded me of a gull–sailing over the ocean, looking for hope in the form of a fish.
After a time I said, “Do you know what I think Jesus would say to you right now?”
And she said, “Look, I’m not really religious.”
I said, “That’s okay. Neither am I.”
And she laughed. “Yeah, right.”
And I said, “Jesus said, ‘Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!'” (Luke 12:22-24)
And she said, “Huh.”
And I said, “Jesus sees the monotony. The loneliness. The irony and the opaque. He thinks you are beautiful and he loves you. Just the way you are–love handles, gray hairs, crows feet and all.”
And she said, “Jesus is weird.”
Today if you are reading this and you feel the weight of the future like a millstone around your neck, if your hopes are as shriveled as your pocketbook, and your thoughts as dark as the depths of the sea, take heart! You are seen and loved by God. And if you don’t have the good fortune to have a friend to talk to, know that you can talk to Him and He will hear you. And if you have courage, you can surrender your life to Him and He will give you a new heart, and even better–glad and beautiful dreams that will all come true! He will even be your treasure–if you let him.
My friend was sad but she is beginning to see that there is light beyond this dark world–light that can shine into even the darkest corners of the human heart. This light is the happy hope of the nations! This light can even make the drudgery of single parenthood, the cruelty of an unwanted divorce and the not-enough-money-to-make-ends-meet facts of life wisp away like clouds on the river dissipates in the sun.
He is yours if you want him. He is standing at the door. All you have to do is invite him in. If you do, this will be the best new year you ever experienced.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” – Ephesians 2:8-9
Happy New Year. And keep blogging in 2020 please.
Andrea
Very true and comforting words